Do you know that if people on read something on the internet, they knew for sure, without a shadow of a doubt that what they are seeing is not the penultimate but the final word on any subject.
So I’m putting this on the internet so that anyone who sits next to me and whips out a phone and thinks it’s okay to take my picture even after I’ve told you a million times not to…
I HATE having my picture taken.
I don’t WANT my picture taken.
Do you get it now?
I’m not being cute or coy or silly- I really mean it. I get that people like to capture little moments and memories. But I’ve learned the hard way that once you lived through a little moment or a big moment it’s gone forever – so what’s the point in freezing that little moment in time?
You don’t get it back.
Deal with it already.
I hate cell phones. Hate them. I’d rather have a root canal, I’d rather have a tooth pulled I’d rather kiss a toilet seat then own one.
That ‘s all I have to say tonight.
Today at my bus stop two of my fellow passengers who were on their phones stopped mid-whatever it is they do on those things when they’re not talking on them and telling the rest of the world at the tops of their lungs stuff they would just DIE if anyone found out( fill your drama in here ) to say “ you can learn something new everyday now with this app …”
NOW? I thought. Wow. Let me think. What did we DO when we wanted to learn new things before?
Let me think. Oh- I remember. We read a book- and let’s see, we discussed ideas and asked people questions and they would answer in for the most part full sentences and even though we might not have agreed with what we heard if you were lucky you’d get a laugh or two.
Well. I don’t have a cell phone and I learn stuff too.
If you get a splinters under your fingernails often enough it’s not a big deal. But if you hold your finger up and show it to somebody else it will make them scream like somebody just lit their hair on fire AND jammed a bunch of splinters under all of their fingernails every single time.
Juicy Fruit Gum has been in production since 1893- and nobody really knows what those fruity flavors are. I have my theories but I’ll keep those to myself. You’re welcome.
Wait- I have one more.
If you sing the song in the clip below to my husband’s cat Darwin, Darwin sinks his claws into whatever is handy and won’t let you pick him up. And if you call Darwin ” Rover” he panics and hides under the dining room table.
Oh. Don’t look at your screen like that and go all PETA on me- cats land on their feet almost all of the time and if you drop them from five feet up onto a bed they bounce.
What ‘s new by you?
Sometimes I scoot around in those writing prompt sites- in this case it was Plinky Prompts and as I read them I got all snarky because one involved writing about smartphone apps- and as far as I’m concerned Texting has NOTHING to do with writing and is the death knell of the complete thought so why oh why oh why is it A WRITING PROMPT?
But there were a couple that did get me thinking so here we go:
What was the last movie that made you cry?
It made me cry because I paid five bucks for it and I watched it from start to finish and those minutes of my life and my five dollars are gone forever. Worse yet I still have it because I can’t in good conscious give it away because I think there is a price to be paid for doing Evil things to your fellow human beings. I count giving away that DVD away to a fellow human being as one of those things.
Do you prefer a sunrise or sunset? (Or is it all the same to you?)
As anyone who has ever written a horror story will tell you- the line that separates the sound of laughter from screaming terror is a very thin line – - I think the line that separates sunrise from sunsets is the same line. Okay. I don’t really think that. But, I think that someone with a romantic soul would probably want to answer that question and if I can put the idea into their head that I just twisted this prompt from the chance it could inspire romantic prose about nature or first kisses or last kisses or doing it on the beach to people thinking about the monster that does indeed live under their bed and waits for them to get up in the middle of the night to pee so that it can eat them and leave a trail of their guts to the basement then not only will I have made my daily word count but the bonus is, I got to have fun doing it too.
Defend your vice.
Okay. You know there are Seven Deadly Sins right? How many days of the week are there? That’s right Seven. That means that the odds are you will F#@! up because there is a dedicated sin for each day of the week. Talk about a rigged game. So in my defense, I didn’t write those rules, I didn’t check the box and I don’t agree to those terms.
You want to damn me, then know me and we’ll talk. But you better make sure your closet is skeleton free before we have that little sit down.
I might not have used the Prompt as they were intended to be used- but it’s not like they come with warning labels or instructions -you know like those instructions on Pizza Boxes that say to remove the Pizza from the carton before you bake it- so I did my best.
Plus this is my blog, and you know…
I can write whatever I want on it.
I think it’s time to start writing again because I am pretty darn sure that what I have been doing on at FB isn’t writing no matter what I told myself – like, I can get ideas there and it’s creative in a way and I don’t get to see a lot of my friends so this is a fun way to stay in touch- while I work on my writing.
But I knew that was baloney the entire time.
So why have I spent so much time over there when the cost has been so high for me? I don’t have a cell phone so I’m not connected to the collective, I don’t have anything sassy or witty to say but I must admit I like posting pictures because that is fun and some of the quips on them are funny.
I don’t write those quips and I don’t take the pictures and the writer in me stands over my shoulder when I spend time on FB telling someone else’s story and she says:
“Anita Marie…what the Hell? Who wrote this and why are you putting their stuff out there? Oh yeah. I know why because a picture with a three word quip coming out of the mouth of a monkey riding backwards on a tricycle is Art and it must live forever and your purpose in life now is to make that happen no matter what the cost.”
And the truth is that is exactly what I have been doing.
However, I am left every single time I have goofed off on FB, with the certainty that if we were REQUIRED to go on line and tell everyone what we thought, where we are going, who we are talking to, what we ate for dinner, where we shop, sat next to at the movies, people would be freaking out all over the place.
But we- and I am including myself in that mix in a big way -are good little sheep and no matter how we see ourselves at the end of the day- it feels to me as if someone is tugging on our leash and we are obediently responding to that gesture.
We are listening ,we are telling the same stories in the same voice
Irregular Finds From The Bones
- Drawing of Lazarus and his brother, Joannes Baptista.
Visit The Haunted MUSEUM
Old Woman at the Mirror by STROZZI, Bernardo
It was a busy week.
Time to get back to work.
And of course I do that by coming here and goofing off.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
I love it when a story comes together.